Joke #10600

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon? A creature that stinks to high heaven.

Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions.

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."

What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A cud thud.

What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef.

Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.

How does a leopard change its spots? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another.

Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.

A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him. One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"

A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, "I don't know. It all happened so fast."

I feel like every nature documentary is directed by a psychopath. "Here's the cutest baby animal ever." "Now let's watch something eat it."