What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon?
A creature that stinks to high heaven.
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I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
Where do Danish cows come from?
Cowpenhagenf.
First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?
Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.
Did you hear about the argumentative skunk?
He always liked to make a stink.
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone.
One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?"
The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain.
One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving?
They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
Vote:
Customer: "Waiter, do you serve crabs?"
Waiter: "Please sit down sir, we serve everyone."
Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat?
He had to get a new goat.