What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon?
A creature that stinks to high heaven.
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Q: What is worst than raining black cats and bloodhounds?
A: Hailing taxi cabs!
Q: Why do fish live in to the salt water?
A: For the reason that pepper makes them sneeze!
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights?
10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed?
You can smell the carrots on his breath.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
(A teddy boar!)
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea?
A: "Look I found deep nuts."
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Question: Why did the Army send do many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf?
Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
What do you get from a cowmedian?
Cream of Wit.
The proprietor of the general store at the cross-roads had his place overrun by rats, and the damage was such that he offered a hundred dollars reward to anyone who would rid him of the pests.
A disreputable-appearing person turned up one morning, and announced that he was a professional rat-killer.
"Get to work," the store-keeper urged.
"I must have a pound of cheese," the killer declared.
When this had been provided:
"Now give me a quart of whiskey."
Equipped with the whiskey, the professional spoke briskly:
"Now show me the cellar."
An hour elapsed, and then the rat-catcher galloped up the cellar stairs and leaped into the store.
His face was red, the eyes glaring, and he shook his fists in defiance of the world at large, as he jumped high in air and shouted:
"Whoopee! I'm ready! bring on your rats!"