Joke #10600

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon? A creature that stinks to high heaven.
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Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
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Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
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Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.
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Where do Russian cows come from? Moscow.
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Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!
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Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? A: Charged With Battery.
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What's red and green and goes at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
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Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
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Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says: "When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times." The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila. He grabs one in each paw, slams the shots, and pounds the glasses to the bar. He turns to the other mice and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can and take it home. In the morning, I grind it up into a powder and put it in my coffee so I get a good buzz going for the rest of the day." The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and f*uck the cat."
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If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream you.
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