What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom!
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The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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Q: What's worse than ants in your pants?
A: Uncle.
Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening.
One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?'
The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.'
The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?'
The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'.
All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side…
"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?"
"Because theres to many cheetahs."
One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters.
She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse.
Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
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