The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner? A: Toast their clients.
An eclipse is just the suns attempt to hide from Chuck Norris.
Dante's Inferno is based on a Nature Walk Chuck Norris once took.
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.