Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole bucket of sleepng pills and it managed to make him yawn.
Chuck Norris once saw Spiderman on a wall and then folded his newspaper.
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.