When should you feel sorry for a skunk?
When its spray pump is out of order!.
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What's a cow's favorite moosical note?
Beef-flat!
Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
How do you make a rabbit fast?
Don't feed it.
What is the fiercest flower in the garden?
The tiger lily.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!
There where two snakes talking.
The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead?
Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?'.
Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?"
The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"
Waiter: "I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg."
Customer: "Don’t tell me your problems. Give the menu card."
There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole.
They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse.
Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!"
Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!"
Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles.
Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."