Joke #10652

What gas do snails prefer? Shell.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" "Africa," says the parrot.
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has 69.94 % from 1170 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, beauty, black people, parrot
What do you call an affectionate rabbit? A tender, loving hare.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
What is the longest organ in a sheep's body? A New Zealander's cock!
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
A drunk walks up to a barkeeper one day and says, "If I show you a trick will you give me a free drink?" The Barkeep says "Depends on how good of a trick it is." The Drunk reaches into his pocket and pulls out a frog and places him behind the piano. The frog starts to play the sweetest jazz riff the barkeeper has ever heard. He pours the drunk his drink. The drunk, after killing his drink says, "If I show you another trick can I have another free one?" The barkeep says "If it is anything like that last one, you can drink free all night." The drunk reaches into his other pocket, pulls out a rat, sets it on top of the piano, and the rat starts scatting along with the frog." Impressed, the barkeeper starts to pour drinks as fast as the drunk can drink 'em. After several hours, a big time Hollywood agent walks in, sees the act and franticaly asks the barkeeper who it belongs to. The barkeeper points to the drunk who is passed out on the floor. The agent wakes him up and says, "I will give you 1 Million dollars for that act." The drunks says "not for sale". The agent says, "Ok, 100 grand for just the scating rat." The drunk say, "deal" The agent writes the check and leaves with the rat. The barkeeper looks at the drunk and says, "Are you nuts? You had a Million dollar act that you just broke up for a whimpy 100 g's?" The Drunk says, "Relax, the frog is a vantriliqist."
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, money
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, "How much is the yellow one?" The assistant says, "$2000." The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, "This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast." "What about the green one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes." "What about the red one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "That one's $10,000." The man says, "What does HE do?" The assistant says, "I don't know, but the other two call him boss."
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has 76.12 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, parrot, phone
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"
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has 83.64 % from 445 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, beer
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger? The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!
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has 25.97 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people
Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church? A: Because they use such FOWL language.
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has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, church, communication