Joke #10652

What gas do snails prefer? Shell.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Q: Where did the newlywed horses stay? A: In the bridle suite.
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Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
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A bloke walks into a bar in the bush to discover a 44 gallon drum almost overflowing with $20 notes. He sits at the bar and orders a beer. A short while later one of the locals gets up, throws $20 into the drum and walks out the back. He soon returns shaking his head disgruntled and sits down. Five more minutes pass when another local does exactly the same. The bloke asks the bartender what is the go with the drum full of 20's . The bartender says that they have a donkey out the back that has never laughed in its life. So you simply throw in the $20 and have a go, if the donkey laughs then the drum and its contents are yours. Been going ten years so far. The young bloke gets up, throws his 20 into the drum and proceeds out the back.  Within seconds the donkey his laughing its head off.  As he strolls back inside all the locals ask what he did but he won't say and simply takes the drum full of cash and leaves. 10 years goes past and the young bloke decides to pay the pub another visit. This time he sees a drum overflowing with $50 notes in the middle of the room. He goes up to the bar tender and asks again what the deal is with the drum. The bartender says that they have the same donkey still out the back and seeing as he had made it laugh, the deal was you now had to make it cry but it was a 50 not a 20. The young bloke gets up, throws in his 50 and goes out the back. About a minute later the donkey is crying his eyes out and the young man returns to the bar. The locals beg him to tell them how he has done it as it has cost them a fortune attempting it. The young bloke says that to make him laugh he told the donkey his member was bigger than the donkeys. Everyone sighed and understood how easy that was and why didn't they think of it. Now they demanded to know what tactic he had used to make the donkey cry so miserably. The young bloke replied that it was quite simple as well, he just showed it to him.
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, blonde, money
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
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has 58.18 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, geography, Thanksgiving
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, food
Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air. He got out, and started walking in a meadow. As he walked, he came upon a hole. Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down. No sound. So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound. The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down. No sound. As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam. He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in. No sound. He sat down on the ground, exhausted. Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed. He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole. He listened, but there was no sound. He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up. The man asked him, "How deep is this hole?" The farmer said, "Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends. Say, have you seen my prize goat?" The man, not wanting to get the blame, said, "No." The farmer said, "Oh well. He can't get far. He was tied to a railroad beam."
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you get if you cross a hippo, elephant and a rhino? A Helephino!!
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Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, music