Joke #10584

Two skunks were being chased by a bear. As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever shall we do?" "Let us spray!" replied the other.
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Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
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Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!
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Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
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Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage. Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry. Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days. Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below. As they descend, they see a man walking his dog. One of the flyers yells to the figure far below, "Where are we?" The man yells back, "About a half mile from town." Once again, the balloonists are engulfed in the mist. One flyer says to the other, "He must have been a lawyer." The other says, "A lawyer! How do you know that?" The first says, "That’s easy. The information he gave us was accurate, concise, and entirely irrelevant."
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How far can a rabbit run into the woods? Halfway. After that she's running out of the woods.
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What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane? A dandy lion.
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What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands.
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Why did the frog cross the road? Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest. 
The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!" "
The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!" 
 The old geezer says... (We're waiting...)
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