Two skunks were being chased by a bear.
As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever shall we do?"
"Let us spray!" replied the other.
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A man on a beach sees a shark near a child in the shallows.
Ignoring personal safety, he dives in the water and, with his bare hands, kills the shark.
He brings the tot to shore and is met with tumultuous applause from spectators.
"Geez, mate" says a reporter "You should get a medal. What part of Australia are you from?"
Modestly our hero says: "Actually I'm from England."
The next days newspaper headline says "Pommy mongrel kills child's pet"
If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get?
"Beeflt!"
Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A: A milk shake.
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend?
A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
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Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
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Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?
When does a female deer need money?
When she doesnt have a buck.
Q:Why do dogs stick their noses in women's crotches?
A:Because they can.
A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?"
"Yes"
"What are you doing at the movies?"
"Well, I liked the book!"