Two skunks were being chased by a bear.
As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever shall we do?"
"Let us spray!" replied the other.
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A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job.
"Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks.
"I can do great bird impressions", the man replies.
"Pssh, a lot of people can do that".
"Oh well", the man says and flies away.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin?
Pingu-Pong.
A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long.
The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here.
It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued."
The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator.
I'll prove it to you."
He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar.
Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth.
The alligator just keeps his mouth open.
After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"
The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"
Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?
A. Because he was pissed off!
Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smellicopter.
Where does a cow stop to drink?
The milky way.
Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
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