Joke #10677

Who robs banks and squirts ink? Billy the Squid.
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Jesse starts wailing to the vet, "you gotta save my dog, he looks real bad - please you just gotta!" "There, there Jesse, your dog just has a broken hip he'll be fine in no time. My fee, of course, will be $1,500." Jesse starts to wail - "oh, my dog's going to die!!!"
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Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?" Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
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Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?" Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
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What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses? If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
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A city child came running into the farmhouse. “No wonder that mama pig is so big,” she yelled. “There’s a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!”
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What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
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Q. Why don't lions eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny.
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What is a moo hoo for steak that came late? Filet delay.
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What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house? The Lizard of Oz.
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Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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