Who robs banks and squirts ink? Billy the Squid.
Jesse starts wailing to the vet, "you gotta save my dog, he looks real bad - please you just gotta!" "There, there Jesse, your dog just has a broken hip he'll be fine in no time. My fee, of course, will be $1,500." Jesse starts to wail - "oh, my dog's going to die!!!"
Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?" Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?" Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses? If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
A city child came running into the farmhouse. “No wonder that mama pig is so big,” she yelled. “There’s a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!”
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
Q. Why don't lions eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny.
What is a moo hoo for steak that came late? Filet delay.
What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house? The Lizard of Oz.
Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.