Joke #10677

Who robs banks and squirts ink? Billy the Squid.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What did the frog say to the fly? You are really starting to bug me!
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has 22.36 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
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has 53.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, math
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
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has 28.45 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, kids
The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?  All the men stood up. 'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?'  All the women stood up.  'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn' t belong to them?'  Half the women stood up.  'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?'  Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up. The priest fainted.
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has 79.75 % from 861 votes. More jokes about: animal, church, priest, sex, time
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
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has 74.87 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, divorce, sport
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"
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has 83.64 % from 445 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, beer
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke? This one will sleigh you.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
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has 32.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
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has 57.37 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, love, sex, wedding