Joke #10677

Who robs banks and squirts ink? Billy the Squid.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, geography
Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother? For smoking in bed.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide. "Here," she said, "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick, right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?" "Checking for bees!" said Tarzan.
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has 79.69 % from 1438 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, sex
Baby Rabbit: "Mommy, where did I come from?" Mother Rabbit: "I ll tell you when you re older." Baby Rabbit: "Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now." Mother Rabbit: "If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat."
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: age, animal
Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, game
Q: What did the cow say to the other cow? A: Moo.
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has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, husband, marriage, wife
I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat. Sorry...
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has 24.15 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
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has 70.41 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, life, military, winter