What happens when sharks take their clothes off? They go sharkers.
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm. He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand.
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger? The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!
Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf.
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence. After a while he asks surprised: Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs? Because I used only one leg for the stock.
A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She called the police immediately to report the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch. The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder. She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning. "What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer. The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a blind policeman!"
Why did the dinosaur have so few friends? Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died