What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? Shark absorbers.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins.
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."
You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark.
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.