Joke #10711

What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? Shark absorbers.

Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?" Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and order a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for Panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

"Name?" "Abdul Aziz." "Sex?" "Three to five times a day." "No, no... I mean male or female?" "Yes, male, female, sometimes camel." "Holy cow!" "Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general." "But isn't that hostile?" "Horse style, doggy style, any style!" "Oh dear!" "No, no! Deer run too fast..."

Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.

What's the favourite flavour of sharks? Shark-o-late.

A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!

Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!

A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?" "Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"

What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat? He had to get a new goat.

Little Red Riding Hood walks through the forest and sees a wolf hunched under a tree with its ears erect and its mouth stretched in a big grimace. She says to the wolf, "My, what big ears you have!" The wolf keeps grimacing. She says, "My, what big eyes you have!" The wolf grimaces even wider, baring his teeth. She says, "My, what big teeth you have!" The wolf finally snaps and says, "F**k off! I'm trying to take a dump."