Chuck Norris is the reason Pluto is no longer a planet.
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Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
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Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
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Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.
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Chuck Norris can walk up a down elavator.
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When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
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Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
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What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.
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