Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?
What’s the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
A rich 40 year-old American woman decided to get married, but she wanted her husband to be a virgin and to never had been with a woman all of his life. After some years of pointless searching, she didn’t found anyone with this description and forced to give an ad to the paper. A month later, she met with an Australian man who had never been with a woman before in his life and she married him immediately. On the first night of their wedding and before they lay down, she went for a quick fresh up and then went back to the bedroom, happy. When she entered the room she stood steal... She saw her husband naked to the center of the room and all the furniture on the corner of the room. "But.. What happened?" asked the woman obviously shocked. "Look.. I’ve never been with a woman, but if it’s the same as with the kangaroo, then I’ll need the whole room to catch you!"
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
On what should you mount a statue of your cat? A caterpillar!
A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Class: "Brotherly love."
Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves.