Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?
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What did the cow wear to the football game?
A Jersey.
Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?
A: He was looking for pooh!
Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots.
They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night.
The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight.
They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night.
The next morning, the rabbits get to talking.
"I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one.
"I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second.
"I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."
An elephant goes to a camel and says why have you got a pair of tits on your back, the camel then replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.
A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails.
When the police show up, they ask him what happened.
The shaken turtle replies, "I don't know. It all happened so fast."
A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.
Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour.
When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?
Bears do not eat bears.
Tigers do not eat tigers.
Dogs do not eat dogs.
Cats stopped eating kebabs.
Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle?
It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Vote:
Dog Property Laws
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, its mine.
8. If I saw it first, its mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, its yours.
