If Chuck Norris were to get into a fight with another Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris would win.
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A blind man ran into Chuck Norris and got his sight back.
Unfortunately, the first and last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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Aliens believe in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris didn't grow a beard, a beard grew Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.
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Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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