Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.
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Chuck Norris can remember the future.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving.
He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.
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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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Chuck Norris went to the sun and spent two nights.
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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks, physics decides to shut up.
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Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
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Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
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