Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls. The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Cocaine is Addicted to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.