Joke #8737

Chuck Norris donated his heart to a hospital... twice.

Chuck Norris was once hospitalised, becaused he kicked his own ass.

It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.

A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital. Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day. “Are you hurt?” she asks. She replies, “Of course I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!”

Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, "I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this..." "Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault."

Jurrasic Park is a second name for Chuck Norris' backyard.

Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind. The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.

I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.

In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.

Two little kids are in hospital beds next to each other. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?” The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of jelly and ice-cream. It’s a breeze.” “Cool,” says the second kid.” “What are you in here for?” “A circumcision.” “Whoa!” exclaims the second kid. “Good luck, mate. I had that done just after I was born and I couldn’t walk for a year.”

Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.