Chuck Norris donated his heart to a hospital... twice.
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Chuck Norris was once hospitalised, becaused he kicked his own ass.
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It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured.
It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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Mohan (to the doctor): "Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?"
Doctor: "Your eyesight seems to be poor."
Mohan: "How did you come to that conclusion?"
Doctor: "You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital."
Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand?
A: Thunder.
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Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado.
Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
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A medical student is driving home on a narrow country road in the middle of the night after his shift in the hospital.
The weather is terrible.
It's raining cats and dogs.
Suddenly a motorbike is screaming by with very high speed.
"Jesus Crhist! What an idiot! He will crash if he doesn't slow down!"
A few minutes later he spotted in his headlights on the side of the road the torn up motorbike against a big tree.
He stopped and quickly jumped out of his car to see in he can give first aid.
But it's to late.
The biker is already dead.
He looked around if there is anyone around. Nobody to see.
The student thouhgt "This is the oppertunity to finally obtain a real human eye!"
He always carryrna spoon and a glass eye in his pocket for an opperunity like this.
He quickly removes the left eye and places the glass eye in the socket.
One quick look around and he jumps in his car and races off.
The next morning when he wakes up he turned on the tv and watches the news.
It said: "Biker found dead on country road with 2 glass eyes."
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident."
"Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
Chuck Norris beat a laser beam in a race.
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