A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face. Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind. The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis. He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.