Joke #3838

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face. Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind. The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis. He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
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