A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
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Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
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Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
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Chuck Norris was an only child.
Eventually.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
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The reason Waldo hides is because he saw Chuck Norris looking for him.
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