A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
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Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
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Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as he who shall not be named.
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Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
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Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
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Bob the Builder asks if we can fix it, Chuck Norris already did.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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