The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
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Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
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Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
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Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
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Nails wish they were as tough as Chuck Norris.
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Karma believes in Chuck Norris.
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Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
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