What's the good part of there being no blacks on the Jetsons? It means the future will be great!
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
"I want a divorce"! "But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part." "I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
I walked passed a burnt out building with a broken sign saying "Fireworks". How right they were.
What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding? A baby in a microwave.
Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’? A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
What do you do if an epileptic falls in your pool? Throw in your laundry.
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals? A bus load of babies on fire.
Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.
Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’