Chuck Norris stem cells can reproduce missing limbs.
Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy. That is why there is no life on any of them.
Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack. His heart is too smart to not attack him.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".
CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
Justin Timberlake didn't bring sexy back Chuck Norris did.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
It's not the fall that kills you, it's Chuck Norris waiting for you at the bottom.
When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.