When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back.
But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
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Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
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Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
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Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.
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