When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.
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Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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