When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
People with Pogonophobia (fear of beards) do not fear Chuck Norris beard. They are too scared of his entire existance to focus on 1 part.
Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!
Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear... Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary, with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.