When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
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Chuck Norris has walked to the end of the universe and back.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
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Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
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Chuck Norris once pushed a door that said,"pull."
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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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