When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
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Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal.
Then he places the bowl.
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Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
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Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort.
Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil.
Chuck Norris killed that man.
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What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.
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Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks.
They speak for themselves.
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On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
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