You don't invite Chuck Norris. He invites himself.
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Ghosts actually have their own kind of tv. The show that scares them the most is called "Chuck Norris Caught On Tape".
Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet. That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
Chuck Norris once joined the Army. That's how the motto, "An Army of One" was created.
Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow? You just don't follow him that close!
When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.