You don't invite Chuck Norris.
He invites himself.
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The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
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The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
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Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute.
The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
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Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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Chuck Norris once donated blood to a man, hes' known as Super Man.
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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
She is now known as Britney Spears.
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How did Stella get her groove back?
Permission from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
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