You don't invite Chuck Norris. He invites himself.
Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.
The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.
When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
Chuck Norris can turn a vegan into a cannibal.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.