You don't invite Chuck Norris.
He invites himself.
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Chuck Norris does not sleep.
He waits.
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In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
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Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals.
Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
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Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
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Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
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Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
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Chuck Norris donated his heart to a hospital... twice.
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