You don't invite Chuck Norris. He invites himself.
The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam... In the Sahara Desert.
Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"