When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.
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Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal.
Then he places the bowl.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
You don't invite Chuck Norris.
He invites himself.
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Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself.
Now he has provoked the event 2012.
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Chuck Norris can make a snowman with sand.
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The earth doesn't revolve around the sun.
It's the sun that revolves around Chuck Norris.
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Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
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