The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.
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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
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Chuck Norris was born in a house he build himself.
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Once you pop, you just can't stop.
Unless you're Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books.
He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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We ask the president to make laws.
The president asks Chuck Norris.
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Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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What occurs twice in The Beginning, never in The End, but is at The End of Everything?
Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
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Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
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