Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
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The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris's tears can cure every type of cancer, the only problem is he never cried.
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Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
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Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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The Tower of Pisa was in Chuck Norris' way.
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Chuck Norris can hack a Facebook account using Myspace.
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Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.
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Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies.
He potato-sacks them.
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Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
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