Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.
World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order. Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever. That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.
Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
In a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris would win. No questions.
Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.