After being shot by a criminal, Chuck Norris said... "that tickles".
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
The Twilight Zone enters the Chuck Norris Zone.
The only difference between nunchucks and the legs of Chuck Norris is that wood eventually breaks.
Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Mortal Kombat was originally called 'Ways Chuck Norris Can Kill You'.
Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.