If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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Even Google can't find Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
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There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
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A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
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Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
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