If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
Chuck Norris fires Donald Trump.
Chuck Norris eats rainbows to taste the Skittles.
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
Stars wish upon Chuck Norris.
Gravity obeys Chuck Norris.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.