If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
Chuck Norris was the reason the Titanic sank. The iceberg was just a cover-up.
Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
Cavemen didn't invent fire Chuck Norris mearly clicked his fingers and gave it to them.
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
When batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!