If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
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It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
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The original plan for Hiroshima and Nagasaki was to send in Chuck Norris.
We decided to go the humane route.
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Chuck Norris made Dirty Harry's day.
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Chuck Norris was worshipped as a god by the Eskimos.
That is why they had igloos modeled after his signature move.
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Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.
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If Chuck Norris is defusing a bomb and has a choice of red wire, yellow wire and green wire, he chooses blue.
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At night.
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Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
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