Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.
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When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
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Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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Chuck Norris can in fact eat water.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Some of us can "save the day," Chuck Norris can save a century.
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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