Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.
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Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
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There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
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Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.
They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
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Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
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Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
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Chuck Norris cut's a knife with butter.
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