Chuck Norris once saw Spiderman on a wall and then folded his newspaper.
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. Now they are pregnant.
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
Chuck Norris can fire Vince McMahon.
During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3." All was good.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has 10 custom classes on Modern Warfare 2, and hes never prestiged.