Chuck Norris once saw Spiderman on a wall and then folded his newspaper.
Chuck Norris never swam. Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
Dante's Inferno is based on a Nature Walk Chuck Norris once took.
Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris." Then his reflection cried and walked away.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris walks up his staircase to get to the basement.
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
Shooting stars make a wish when they see Chuck Norris.