Chuck Norris can walk up a down elavator.
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you’re thinking to yourself, “But Chuck Norris isn’t black”, then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
When Chuck Norris steps on a crack he breaks another persons mother's back.
Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
There are no such things as Chuck Norris haters...just people with short lives.