I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head. Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.
Q: How many Chuck Norris\' does it take to screw in a lightbulb? \r\nA: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
Q: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god did it.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.