Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. Now they are pregnant.
What every sports player should say after winning? "First of all, I would like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
Chuck Norris just completed a full round of Golf... In 17 shots.
If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris... Then none of us would have to put up with them again.
If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers. The food cooks itself out of pressure.
If Chuck Norris drinks too much, he doesn't throw up, he throws down!
When Chuck Norris say it's hot, people sweat.