Rules of fighting:
1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.
2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
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Chuck Norris does not open doors.
Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
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Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out.
It failed miserably.
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can open Microsoft Windows when he needs fresh air.
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Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
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Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
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Chuck Norris can play PS3 games - on PS1
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Chuck Norris can kill a man in 52 different ways using only a ballpoint pen.
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