Rules of fighting:
1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.
2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
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The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
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America doesn't need a military...
We've got Chuck Norris
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If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win.
Period.
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In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.
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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
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Chuck Norris can mute silence.
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Where does the devil go when he dies?
He goes to Chuck Norris for an eternity of roundhouse kicks.
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Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?
A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
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