In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.
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Hurricanes are really just Chuck Norris breathing into the rain.
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Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
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Chuck Norris can speak braille.
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Chuck Norris can see at least 3 extra colors.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch.
He simply decides what time it is.
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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
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Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris will never submit.
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
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