There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
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Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name.
It's called the internet.
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Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
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Moses did not part the sea.
Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
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If you stare at the ameican flag long enough you'll see a 3D image of Chuck Norris.
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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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Remember the Leia scene from The Last Jedi?
That wasn't the force, it was Chuck Norris resurrecting Carrie Fischer.
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When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
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For fear of Chuck Norris, his shoes tie themselves.
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