Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
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Wagner is really Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris caught the gingerbread man.
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Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
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Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
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Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light.
He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
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Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks.
They fold under pressure.
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Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort.
Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
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