Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
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Chuck Norris drives in reverse and still drives better than you...
It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke.
She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in.
And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her.
Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!"
And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!"
A blonde comes home to find her husband in bed with a redhead.
She grabs a gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband begs her not to shoot herself.
The blonde shouts at her husband, ‘Shut up!
You’re next!’
How come you don’t find stupid brunettes anywhere?
Because they all painted themselves blond.
How many blondes does it take to play tag?
One.
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads:
CHEESEBURGER: $1.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50
HAND JOB: $10.00
He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks.
"Can I help you?" she asks.
"I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."
A blonde was walking down the street with shower caps on her breasts.
A guy asked her, "Hey, what's with the shower caps?"
"Shower caps?" she responded, "These are booby condoms!"
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead.
The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom.
She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.
While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her.
They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream.
Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating.
She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
How do you kill a blonde with one arm?
You wave to her.