How come you don’t find stupid brunettes anywhere?
Because they all painted themselves blond.
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Q: What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl?
A: "Just flush it like everybody else does."
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A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he says.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy!
Daddy!
Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
You rotten bastard, "says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven?
A: She didn't know what one came first.
I'm a blonde!
I'm a blonde, yay!
B-L-O...?
I'm a blonde, yay!
Q: Why did the blonde climb on to the roof?
A: Someone told her the drinks were on the house.
Why should you never let a blonde take a tea or coffee break?
"It's too hard to re-train them."
After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse.
He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20.
The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left.
He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room.
To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed.
So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life.
Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs.
He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Why did the blonde throw breadcrumbs in the toilet?
To feed the toilet duck!