A blonde comes home to find her husband in bed with a redhead. She grabs a gun and holds it to her own head. The husband begs her not to shoot herself. The blonde shouts at her husband, ‘Shut up! You’re next!’
Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties? A: Women!
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know." So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time. "That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime." "No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
Why did the Blonde pee in the Grocery Store? The sign said "Wet Floor."
Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists? A: The rest are hunting peckers.
A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, "Where's the burger?" The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets? A: She went looking for the three guys.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing away all the W's!
If you don't know who your father is, odds are it's Chuck Norris.
A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?" She replies, "Sorry, this is a library." The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"
What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have? One that never misses a period.