After football fans in Philadelphia were treated to a particularly excruciating loss earlier in the season, a man phoned a sports-radio talk-show host to say, "Everyone should call in and give one word for that game."
"What's your word?" the host
replied.
"Bored out of my mind," said the caller.
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At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old football players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is?
What a team is?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?"
The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a foul is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, or attack the referee.
Do you understand all that?"
Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a worthless idiot' is it?''
Again the little boy nodded.
"Good," said the coach.
"Now go over there and explain all that to your parents."
"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."
What did the cow wear to the football game?
A Jersey.
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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The game of choice for unemployed people or maintenance level workers is basketball.
The game of choice for frontline workers is football.
The game of choice for middle management is tennis.
The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf.
Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are, the smaller your balls are.
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Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
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PlayStation network was never hacked.
Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
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Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
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A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys."
Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch.
"That was amazing," exclaimed the coach.
"I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?"
"Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
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