Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
Why did the bald man take up running? To get some fresh 'air.
Fan: "I see you won a silver medal at the Olympics. What's it for?¨" Athlete: "It's for telling knock knock jokes." Fan: "And what's that gold medal for?" Athlete: "For stopping."
An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave. The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"
Why are we so sure that Eve was African? If she were white, she wouldn't have eaten that apple! She would say, "Is this organic? What would Oprah do?" If she had been Asian, she'd have eaten the damn snake!
Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL? A: Sir, we were able to save her!