Joke #11331

Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.
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Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
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Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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Q:Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm the school bell. A: Take These tablets and if they don't work give me a ring in the morning.
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An old couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary in their home. "Just think," the old man says, "we were sitting here at this same breakfast table, naked as jaybirds, 50 years ago." "Well," the old lady snickers, "what do you say, should we get naked?" The two immediately strip to the buff and sit back down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady says slyly, "My breasts burn for you now as they did 50 years ago." "I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"
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My life may be a mess but I know the difference between "Your" & "You're"-
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Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
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Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.
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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
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Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
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Why did the bald man take up running? To get some fresh 'air.
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