Joke #11331

Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.
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has 77.83 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: athlete, life

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An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates. Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be." The priest replies: "Get out. You're on my side."
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has 84.75 % from 229 votes. More jokes about: bar, church, food, life, priest
"I have the body of an athlete." "Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: athlete
Q: What is a difference between "accident " and "tragedy"? A: Suppose you with the family are beside a pool. You suddenly push your mother in law into the pool - so it's an accident. If she could swim and gets out, in that case, it's a tragedy!
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has 82.06 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: family, life, mean, mother in law
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on stage in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leaned towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!" Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!" So the Pope slapped her.
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has 84.13 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life
Two boys were talking and the one said to the other, "There is a easy way to get what you want." The other boy said, "How?" the boy replied, "Tell people you know their secret." The boy jumps up and runs to his dad, "I know your secret!" The dad replies, "Please don't tell your mom heres $10." The boy then runs to his mom, "I know your secret!" The mom said, "Please don't tell your dad here's $15." The boy then decides to try it on the mail man, "I know your secret!" The mail man opened his arms and said, "Come, give your dad a hug!"
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has 84.57 % from 241 votes. More jokes about: dad, life, money
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
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has 60.93 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: life
Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: athlete, time
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: athlete, time
Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? A: She wanted to gain weight!
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has 48.41 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: athlete, blonde, fat, stupid
You're not alone. Sometimes, even Usain Bolt feels like he's running in circles.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: athlete