Why did the bald man take up running?
To get some fresh 'air.
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The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom...
I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
A: Mistle-toes!
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year.
In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race.
One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds."
The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record."
So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
Who was the fastest runner?
Adam.
He was first in the human race.
Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards?
A: She wanted to gain weight!
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music?
Matthew: Why?
Peter: Because he broke the record!
You're not alone.
Sometimes, even Usain Bolt feels like he's running in circles.
Fan: "I see you won a silver medal at the Olympics. What's it for?¨"
Athlete: "It's for telling knock knock jokes."
Fan: "And what's that gold medal for?"
Athlete: "For stopping."
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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
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