Why did the bald man take up running?
To get some fresh 'air.
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Did you hear about the hopeless athlete?
He ran a bath and came in second.
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race.
One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds."
The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record."
So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
Vote:
Fan: "I see you won a silver medal at the Olympics. What's it for?¨"
Athlete: "It's for telling knock knock jokes."
Fan: "And what's that gold medal for?"
Athlete: "For stopping."
Vote:
Oh, you play racquetball?
You must be extremely athletic.
You're not alone.
Sometimes, even Usain Bolt feels like he's running in circles.
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
A: Mistle-toes!
An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor.
The doctor says, ‘We have three possible donors.
One is a young, healthy athlete.
The second is a middleaged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practising law for 30 years.’
‘I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,’ says the patient.
‘Why?’ asks the doctor.
The patient replies, ‘It’s never been used.’
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year.
In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.