Why did the bald man take up running?
To get some fresh 'air.
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The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom...
I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
Did you hear about the hopeless athlete?
He ran a bath and came in second.
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year.
In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
Who was the fastest runner?
Adam.
He was first in the human race.
Jack: "What's the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?"
Jill: "I haven't a clue. What?"
Jack: "Prontosaurus."
Oh, you play racquetball?
You must be extremely athletic.
An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor.
The doctor says, ‘We have three possible donors.
One is a young, healthy athlete.
The second is a middleaged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practising law for 30 years.’
‘I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,’ says the patient.
‘Why?’ asks the doctor.
The patient replies, ‘It’s never been used.’
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race.
One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds."
The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record."
So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."