A javelin thrower called Vicky
Found the grip of her javelin sticky.
When it came to the throw
She couldn't let go.
Making judging the distance quite tricky.
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"I have the body of an athlete."
"Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."
It can buy a House
But not a Home
It can buy a Bed
But not Sleep
It can buy a Clock
But not Time
It can buy you a Book
But not Knowledge
It can buy you a Position
But not Respect
It can buy you Medicine
But not Health
It can buy you Blood
But not Life
So you see, Money isn't everything.
And it often causes pain and suffering.
I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want totake away your pain and suffering...
So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.
A more true Friend you will never find.
Vote:
Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
Vote:
Did you hear about the hopeless athlete?
He ran a bath and came in second.
I like your style
I like your class
but most of all i like your ass.
Roses are red,
violets are blue.
Pornhub is Down,
your mums Facebook will do.
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
Sex is when a guys communication,
enters a girls information,
to increase the population,
for a younger generation,
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration.
An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor.
The doctor says, ‘We have three possible donors.
One is a young, healthy athlete.
The second is a middleaged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practising law for 30 years.’
‘I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,’ says the patient.
‘Why?’ asks the doctor.
The patient replies, ‘It’s never been used.’