How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn't it?"
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What is the best type of ship?
FRIENDSHIP!
Vote:
A wife told his husband to whisper her dirty things, the man then replied, "The kitchen, the living room, the conservatory and the dining room."
Q: What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken?
A: A pecking order.
Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize?
He was outstanding in his field.
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
A: Elfis!
Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school?
A: The "elf"-abet!
Yo' Mama is so uptight, you need the jaws of life to part her legs.
*WINS AN OSCAR*
Me: I'd like to thank my legs, for always supporting me; my arms, who are always by my side and lastly my fingers, I can always count on them.
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"