How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn't it?"
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A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
A: Elfis!
On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready.
At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
Well, it was kind of embarrassing.
As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
One night, there was a knock on my door...
i open it and no one was there every night I would get the same knock and still no one was there...
Untill the morning I was just making myself some tea as a person knocks on my door it was a black man he walk in and stole my tea ....
i said to myself did he just mug me ....
I still didn't know who was knocking on the doors at night
Untill one night I opened my door and there was a floating mug I was still confused.
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What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes?
A real Christmas Card!
Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back...
So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.
Q: What kind of money do elves use?
A: Jingle bills!
A wife told his husband to whisper her dirty things, the man then replied, "The kitchen, the living room, the conservatory and the dining room."
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
Who was the fastest runner?
Adam.
He was first in the human race.