How do elves greet each other? "Small world, isn't it?"
Q: Where do you find elves? A: Depends where you left them!
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school? A: The "elf"-abet!
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
Q: What kind of music do elves like best? A: "Wrap" music!
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
If one drop of semen contains more life than a drop of blood, why don't vampires suck cock? Oh wait... Twilight
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? A: Elfis!
I'm tired 8 days a week.
A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts. The guy says, "No, ma'am." She says, "Well, do you have any dates?" And he says, "Ma'am, if I don't have nuts, do you really expect me to have dates?"