Joke #11483

How do elves greet each other? "Small world, isn't it?"
Vote:
has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: elf, life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!" The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you?You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
Vote:
has 85.71 % from 587 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: What kind of money do elves use? A: Jingle bills!
Vote:
has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: elf, money
Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with? A: Why, shortbread of course!
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: elf, food
After a long time two friends met, happy to see each other. One of them, chewing on something big, asked his friend how was he and what was new in his life. After the friend told his story, he asked the same question to the friend who was chewing something. "So, what’s up man?" "It’s a shitty period, there is nothing that works in my life and I feel really bad." "What is going on?! "Last Saturday I went to Las Vegas. You know that from time, to time I’m going there to play at casino, three or four times a year. I took with me thousand dollars and I put the other hundred in my driving license that I left in the car. For the safety reasons, you know, if it goes really bad at casino, I must have the money to pay highway and go back home. And so I walked in casino, I bought the chips and found an empty seat on a roulette table, next to a beautiful woman, about forty years old with a very provocative neckline. I made my first bet on 32, the number of my house, aiming 10 dollars." "How did it go?" The guy continues to tell his story, without stopping to chew something. "Released! I felt all the winning streak and I bet again on 32 and it’s released again. I was winning almost 13 000 dollars and the adrenaline was at maximum. I felt like I was the God and around the table came so many people to congratulated me and I bet more than 10 thousand dollars on 23." "And it went out again?" "No! This time came out a bloody 13. Do you realize that I had the bad luck? I had in my hands a lot of money and if 32 came out I was settled for a life time. But the horrid number 13 ruined my evening and the hole week after." "I understand you very well. It ‘s really to eat the balls." The other friend, continuing to chew louder: "What do you think I’m doing?"
Vote:
has 21.88 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty, life, money
In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was Made in China.
Vote:
has 84.08 % from 492 votes. More jokes about: god, heaven, life
What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? A real Christmas Card!
Vote:
has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, stupid
Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
Vote:
has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, computer, elf, nerd
Songs are not going to make us do anything we would not ordinarily do. Because if that was the case, the song "Achy Breaky Heart" would have made me kill somebody about a year ago.
Vote:
has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: death, life, music
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
Vote:
has 53.69 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: athlete, Christmas, elf
Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: car, elf, Santa, travel