Joke #11483

How do elves greet each other? "Small world, isn't it?"
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I went to a very beautiful place yesterday. There were blossoms, roses and bright sky like a fantasy land. I was so happy until some idiot woke me up...
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What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? A real Christmas Card!
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Q: What kind of money do elves use? A: Jingle bills!
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Q: What kind of music do elves like best? A: "Wrap" music!
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A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
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My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
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You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
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"Hey what's up?" "Nothing much.. converting Oxygen into Carbon dioxide." "How the hell do you do that?!" "Breathing... Dude."
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Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
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Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with? A: Why, shortbread of course!
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