Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
I play the worlds most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
You know who's mad at Kobe? Every other player in the NBA. You know why? Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring. Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum. Cause you know how women are, man. Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
Where's the safest place to be when a bunch of white guys are playing basketball? Under the Hoop
An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor. The doctor says, ‘We have three possible donors. One is a young, healthy athlete. The second is a middleaged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practising law for 30 years.’ ‘I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,’ says the patient. ‘Why?’ asks the doctor. The patient replies, ‘It’s never been used.’
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!