Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
You know who's mad at Kobe? Every other player in the NBA. You know why? Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring. Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum. Cause you know how women are, man. Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
A javelin thrower called Vicky Found the grip of her javelin sticky. When it came to the throw She couldn't let go. Making judging the distance quite tricky.
Yo momma so skinny she looks like a mic stand.
Q: What's brown and very bad for your dental health? A: A baseball bat.
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
Zeke: Why were the swimming elephants thrown out of the Olympics? Kyle: I haven't a clue. Zeke: Because they couldn't keep their trunks up!
The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.