Joke #11585

My New Years resolution is 1080p.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: new year, technology

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: geek, IT, new year, technology
My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: friendship, new year
What do you get if you cross a Kindle with an Apple iPhone 4S? 4Skin.
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year!
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, new year, time
Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out. The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?" The nine year old replies "Nope, not for my mom." Without thinking, the cashier responded "Well, they must be for your sister then?" The nine year old quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either." The cashier had now become curious "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?" The nine year old says "They’re for my four year old little brother." The cashier is surprised "Your four year old little brother?" The nine year old explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can’t do either of them!"
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids, technology
I just saw a mexjcan guy walking down the street with a tv and I thought " wow, that looks just like mine." But I knew mine was at home shining my shoes.
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: mexican, racist, technology
The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
Vote: has 84.58 % from 204 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, history, IT, technology
Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, music, phone, technology
A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, "Happy New Year everybody." and the waiter says, "We are in June you drunk man." And the drunk man says, "Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!"
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, drunk, new year, wife
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, food, husband, new year, women