Joke #11585

My New Years resolution is 1080p.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: new year, technology

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New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
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has 36.46 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, new year, technology
Q: How do you fix a broken website? A: With stick e-tape.
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has 38.49 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: internet, IT, technology
What is so good about Chuck Norris? He is just some stupid actor, if he was really that good he would come here and bash my head on the keyboD5LISDALGFRGY I idyfgylbhyuu2213874rt fsdnljsdha.
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has 54.49 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, technology
I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company. One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh. The procedure required him to delete an old file. On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted. I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash. Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash." Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, IT, marriage, technology
Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
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has 43.40 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Facebook, internet, technology
Jimmy is calling Sergey, who he met at an international conference. Jimmy: "Hi, I've hear there is minus 54 degrees Celsius." Sergey: "Nonsense, not even minus 15!" Jimmy: "But on CNN, they've just shown a thermometer..." Sergey: "Ohh, ok, maybe outside."
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: phone, technology, winter, work
Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year!
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has 31.48 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: black humor, new year, time
On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, programmer, technology
Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
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has 27.59 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: new year, poems, winter
Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, new year