Joke #11585

My New Years resolution is 1080p.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: new year, technology

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New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
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Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year!
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Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New years eve. Excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten.
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My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
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Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
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I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
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Chuck Norris can play a PS3 with a Super Nintendo controller, and it works!
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Q: What does it mean if you were born in September? A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!
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Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
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Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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