A blonde, brunette, and redhead are all on a building about to jump off.
They all jump at the same time.
Which one landed last?
The blonde because she asked for directions.
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Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour.
"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?"
The blonde turned around for a long look.
"As a matter of fact, I do."
"Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette.
"Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again.
"Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
A married couple go to a restaurant.
A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it.
The man asks, "Where's the burger?"
The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit.
"I was keeping it warm," she replies.
The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
A blonde was sitting in economy class... on a flight from Seattle to Chicago.
A ventriloquist is sitting onstage at a comedy club.
He and his dummy are spurting out really crude blonde jokes, when a blonde lady sitting in the audience stands up.
"I'm so sick of you people who think blondes are stupid. It's because of you that I have had to try harder to prove myself at work and in the community. There are just as many dumb people with red or brown hair. There are just as many smart people with blonde hair."
"Gosh, Miss, I'm terribly sorry. I was just telling jokes, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
"Shut up! I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to that little jerk on your lap!"
Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?
A: Women!
Why does a blonde have an IQ 1 point higher than a policehorse?
So she won't shit on the street during a parade.
A blonde comes to a doctor and complains:
Doc, please help: when I touch my head - it hurts, when I touch my belly - it hurts, when I touch my leg - it hurts...
I know what has happened to you.
And what?
You've broken your finger.
Q: Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs?
A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.
Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water.
A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.”
“We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde.
“Well, if you’re going to fish, you need fishing licenses,” said the Game Warden.
“But officer,” replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.”
The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line.
“Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game Warden. “Take all the debris you want.”
And with that, he left.
As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically.
“What a dumb Fish Cop,” the second blonde said to the other two. “Doesn’t he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?”
A blonde walks into a restaurant to get some dinner, and while she's deciding on what she wants a waitress comes up.
The blonde looks up and notices the waitress's name tag on her shirt.
"Gee, that's nice.
What did you name the other one?"
