Joke #11868

Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed? A: You can't smoke too much weed.
Vote:
has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: drug, weed

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor? A: Drug Abuse.
Vote:
has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: drug, weed
Officer: "your eyes look red man have you been smoking weed." Suspect: "officer your eyes look glazed like you has had doughnuts."
Vote:
has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: cop, drug, flirt, weed
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A: Mr. President.
Vote:
has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: drug, political, weed
Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.
Vote:
has 62.30 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: drug, weed, Yo mama
If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
Vote:
has 54.56 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drug, duck, weed
If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, drug, weed
The phone rings at Federal Drug Enforcement Agency headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency?" "Yes. What can we do for you?" "I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding cocaine in his firewood." "Thank you, this will be noted." Next day, the Drug Enforcement agents come over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no cocaine, swear at Tom and leave. The phone rings at Tom’s house. "Hey, Tom! Did the Federal Drug Enforcement guys come by?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood for you?" "Yeah, they did." "Okay, now it’s YOUR turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
Vote:
has 68.60 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: cop, drug, phone
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Vote:
has 25.74 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drug, life, music
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote:
has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: dad, fart, kids, weed
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, health, memory, old people