Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed? A: You can't smoke too much weed.
Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor? A: Drug Abuse.
Officer: "your eyes look red man have you been smoking weed." Suspect: "officer your eyes look glazed like you has had doughnuts."
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A: Mr. President.
Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.
If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal... When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.