Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
A: Of course, a house doesn't jump at all.
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what is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute
chicken goes cockadoodle do
prostute goes any cock will do.
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A man walks by a table in a casino and passes three men and a dog playing cards.
‘That’s a very smart dog,’ says the man.
‘He’s not so clever,’ says one of the players.
‘Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.’
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit?
It was an inn-grown hare.
“Mister, why doesn’t this cow have any horns?” asked the young lady from a nearby city.
The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, “Well, ma’am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep’em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young ‘uns by puttin’ a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops ‘em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns.But the reason this cow don’t have no horns, ma’am, is ’cause it’s a horse.”
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox!
Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
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What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
A tiger moth.
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?
Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.