Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
A: Of course, a house doesn't jump at all.
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Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?
A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
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What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hi, honey."
Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini?
A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.
Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day?
He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
Q: why did the cow cross the road?
A: So he could pass the milkyway.
"I’m in a big trouble!"
"Why is that?"
"I saw a mouse in my house!"
"Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap."
"I don’t have one."
"Well then, buy one."
"Can’t afford one."
"I can give you mine if you want."
"That sounds good."
"All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap."
"I don’t have any cheese."
"Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap."
"I don’t have oil."
"Well, then put only a small piece of bread."
"I don’t have bread."
"Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem.
As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed.
"I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go."
The physician was checking hers eyes and ears.
"Don't feel ashamed, Miss.
You don't look that bad."
"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked.
The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
Why did the gag-writer turn green?
Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!