Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? A: Of course, a house doesn't jump at all
What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit? A rubbit!
Why did the frog walk across the road? He didn't... he jumped.
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!
What's a teddy bears favourite pasta? Tagliateddy.
A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day? A: I'm bakin'.
What gas do snails prefer? Shell.
A mother was teaching his child about the side-effects of alcohol. She gets two short glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?" The child responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"
Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."